THE MESSAGE OF EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY

Forget about learning how to argue better, analysing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sex positions. Instead, recognise and admit that you are emotionally attached to, and dependent on, your partner -- in much the same way that a child depends on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) focuses on creating and strengthening this emotional bond by identifying and transforming the key moments that foster an adult loving relationship.

EFT has an astounding 70–75% success rate and results have been shown to last, even in the face of significant stress: this is recognised by the American Psychological Association as empirically proven.


HOW EFT WORKS

The goal of EFT is to reduce conflict and create a loving, secure bond.

In distressed relationships, couples lose connection by getting stuck in a pattern of negative interactions. As trust becomes eroded, each partner feels the need to justify his or herself with escalating criticism, anger and defensiveness, and so the negative pattern becomes entrenched.

EFT helps people to take control of this negative dance and to clarify their emotional signals about their needs and fears, in a way that encourages their partners to respond with love and compassion. A new emotional experience of secure connection, feeling your partner as accessible, responsive and engaged, then transforms the love relationship.

Couples learn how to reach out to each other in order to connect, and they learn how healthy dependence creates a secure bond, promoting growth and resilience in the partnership.